Made Me
2020

 

 

I want it in last light / one trouser leg ankle-side / supine in cold sheets / arranging my ass in folds / I take off my glasses / I’m cocooned in humoral cotton / already sussurating / already blood dilating / already folds distending / the folds will develop their own heart beat/ this is the study of soft parts / this is a sarcology / it’s how the lizard lizard lizard pulls me further further further into its squishy nidifice / spooned by mammals and by humans in kind/ its opening is a cave splayed at the nape of the spine / I’m carried on a viscous button that I open my mouth to dampen / I breathe from my mouth to conjure the its grand chamber / the chamber is a picture gallery / the pictures wince / they whisper my violence / they sell me my most private violence / they say limbs / limbs for sale / limbs / limbs / limbs / limbs / limbs / limbs nobody here has a head / they have mouths / eyes/ but no noses / no ears / no cheekbones / hands yes / fingernails no / no fingernails / this is the study of soft parts / these are my knees in rug burnt pain / these are my outstretched legs yes / this is my ass in the air yes / yes my trunk has shrunk / yes I am engorged in the light of eyelids shut to the sun / yes my fingers / yes these are my fingers they are titanics / yes this is how I make fucking pictures / yes these are the fucking pictures I make / yes these are the fuck pictures I make / they repeat / they rewind / they repeat / they make circles around the button that propels me on a limax trail / I slither through antechambers made of licked walls / they’re painted in fighting / fleeing / feeding / and fucking / they’re draped in velvet rubbed to oil cloth/ these are spaces I can describe no further / I’ve only glimpsed them in stroboscopic epiphanies / alias visions for two fingers / no three fingers / no twenty fingers/ hunting me like a stalking cat/ yes they call for me with familiar purrs / purrs I have known with speech if language is the movement of bodies / who praise me and treat me like shit / who exert their right to exist / whose memory lives under the mattress / in public toilets / whose memory lives on top of single beds / on hotel room floors / under airplane blankets / against table ends / who floats disembodied in metameric courses / serially repeating / sequencing DA CAPO/ floating in metameric courses / serially repeating / sequencing / serially thumping DA CAPO / serially thumping / who only knows me in here / who is totally available / who notices when I show up to the party with someone new / who is nevertheless an iteration / an ornamentation / whose words change / whose story is morphous but whose obsession is passim / whose new script is the same staging / who is a slut theatre DA CAPO / who is a slut theatre / who is joined this time by a special celebrity guest DA CAPO / who is joined this week by a special celebrity guest / who is joined by one night stands / who is joined by friends over lovers / whose guests are ambiguous even to the host / I am the host’s reprise/ who wanders into antechambers of to-do lists that are erotic too / whose dissidence is a submission / who is a repetition / a repetition / repeated in scales of dominance and submission / who “remains non-manifest in full actuality.”

 

  • Performed at OHM Nightclub (Berlin) on the occasion of Mitch Speed’s book launch for his “One Work” Fiorruci Made Me Hardcore (Afterall Books), January 2020
  • Published in TABLOID Press’, PORTAL, Summer 2020
  • Copyright © 2020 Bitsy Knox, all rights reserved.

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